Imagine pulling up to your local drive-thru window and shouting at that screeching menu board:
"I want a 5-star review, please. Hold the constructive criticism. I want an extra helping of praise for the
characters, a side order of flattery for the author, throw in lots of compliments
on the plot, and a large order of applause for the writing style. And top it off with a glowing
recommendation.”
Imagine having to wait in THAT
line!
With the near-closure of the
trad publishing industry to all but "elite" authors--celebrities,
household names, and established authors with astronomical sales records--today's
independent reviewers find themselves in roles far beyond what they had
envisioned when they first started blogging.
In addition to simply
reviewing books, many have transitioned into publicists quite capable of
focusing thousands of interested eyes onto an author's latest novel. They've become polished practitioners of
social media, adept at strategically positioning those priceless Facebook,
Goodreads, Twitter, Amazon, and Google Plus spotlights upon authors literally
starving for attention.
A well-engineered promotional
splash by a prominent blogger with hundreds--or even thousands of
followers--can serve as a marketing catalyst that can benefit that book and its
author long after the initial review has been archived. Many bloggers open their forums to raffles, guest
posts, giveaways, novel excerpts, and spotlight features as well. A good number delight in interviewing authors
struggling to get the word out about themselves and their writing. Personally, I've been offered a number of interviews with bloggers who had either declined a review or were logistically
unable to provide one at the time; needless to say, I enthusiastically
accepted. In retrospect, I can
truthfully say that I thoroughly enjoyed every
one of my interview experiences and hope to do many more in the
future.
The vast majority of
reviewers perform this eye-straining labor out of a love of reading, a devotion
to literature, and the satisfaction of turning the world on to a deserving book
that might've otherwise gone unnoticed and unread. But I'd be willing to bet that the occasional
THANK YOU from a grateful author does brighten their day. They sacrifice their leisure hours and family
time to read strangers' books and write reviews; not a good way to make a
million dollars, but a great way to make a difference in the lives of the
people who follow them.
But there are the inevitable
times in this delicate relationship when pressures, egos, frustrations,
agendas, and personalities will clash.
In an attempt to bolster a
sagging Amazon ranking, a frustrated author contacts a reviewer and
"demands" a quick 5-star review.
The reviewer declines. Some
caustic comments or emails are exchanged.
At this point in the proceedings, some reviewers will choose to simply
ignore the intruder, add another name to their S**t Lists, and move on.
Longtime reviewers, having
spent years earning their stripes and carefully cultivating their reputations
and followings, may not be quite so tolerant in the face of an
overly-aggressive author's disrespect.
You might call it the This Is MY
House Effect. Their blogs are
indeed their cyber-homes, and somebody entering their homes and bullying them
is unacceptable. The reviewer is now
doing a slow burn. If the insistent
author continues to denigrate the reviewer's standards, character, or methods
of conducting business, the wrong button gets pushed. And some reviewers--if pushed far
enough--have no qualms about pushing back.
At this point, Author Person,
I have bad news and worse news for you.
The bad news?
Surprise! Reviewers talk to each other. The book blogosphere is a huge,
interconnected world with countless partnerships, alliances, relationships,
connections, groups, associations, and networks. Information--and word of
"troublesome" authors--traverses this matrix at the speed of email.
The worse news? Once the word is out on you, good luck in
finding another reviewer willing to even consider looking at your book.
I've found that in working
with reviewers, the late Frank Sinatra said it best: Nice and Easy Does It ... Every Time.
Welcome to the human
condition, dear reader: reviewers--and authors as well--are people, too.
But when the mutual respect
thing is happening, the vast majority of reviewers are helpful, generous souls
who become treasured allies and partners by virtue of their love of reading,
their enjoyment of an absorbing story, and their desire to help authors
succeed.
Enough said.
Now, what about us authors?
I can speak from personal
experience here. (Climbing up onto my
soapbox.)
We slave away--sometimes for
years--to produce what we hope the book-buying public will judge to be a
compelling and satisfying read. Like our
literary comrades--the reviewers--we also sacrifice leisure and family hours in
an attempt to entertain the world with our stories. Our books--whether on electronic devices or printed pages--aren't mere collections of related sentences, paragraphs, and
chapters; they are the author's blood, sweat, and tears honed by countless
hours of writing and tedious editing.
Each chapter is packed not only with plots, storylines, and characters,
but also with the author's emotions and feelings, many of which were exhumed
from deep within his/her psyche and laid bare for all the world to see. We've invested heavily in our novels in the
hope that book-buyers will invest in them--and us--as well. For many of us, our books are our
children--and we wish everybody would love our children as much as we do.
However, in our zeal to
nurture and protect our children, we sometimes mistakenly perceive potential
benefactors as potential villains just waiting for a chance to harm our
literary offspring.
As Shakespeare wrote,
"Therein lies the rub."
Positive reviews are golden
to indie authors. There's no denying
that the current publishing landscape does nothing to discourage this. They are precious currency; they are credibility;
they are acceptance; they are validation; they are approval; they are a
literary “high five.”
Our publishing environment
dictates that we need them, but our egos likewise dictate that we crave them
like children crave hugs.
But, like some parents at a
kids' sporting event, we sometimes allow our pride and protective instincts to
override courtesy and good judgment.
When you visit a fast-food
restaurant, you have the right to specify exactly what you want: "I want a hamburger, no mayo, small
fries, diet soda, and an oatmeal cookie.”
(Whether or not you'll
actually receive them--in edible condition--is a story for another post.)
But if you're accepted for a
review (no small feat these days; congratulations!), you're rolling the dice on
that reviewer's opinion--for better or for worse. If it's better, you become a happy author; if
it isn't, you can always become a philosopher ... or a reviewer. Simply stated, you pays your money and you
takes your chances. (I added this for
literary effect only--don't even think about offering ANYTHING, not even
chocolate!)
A reviewer's integrity is
akin to a membership card in the blogosphere, something of a badge of honor. Quality reviewers won't ask you
to compromise your integrity as a writer; don't ask them to compromise theirs
with a stilted review.
I actually used my
imagination (for a change) and formulated my very own Top Ten List of Rules for
Authors and Reviewers Playing Nice:
- Reviewers would welcome self-published books and review them fairly and objectively.
- Authors would routinely submit literate and appropriate queries, and observe genre and submission guidelines.
- No author would ever attempt to dictate terms and conditions or issue demands.
- Authors and reviewers wouldn't hesitate to cut each other some slack.
- Reviewers would follow through--within the agreed-upon timeframe--with fair and honest reviews based solely on literary and entertainment value.
- Author-bashing and reviewer-bashing wouldn't happen.
- Authors would accept reviews at face value, celebrating them when possible and learning from them when necessary. Mutual Thank You’s would be commonplace.
- Reviewers would post their reviews to—at minimum—Goodreads, one of the major online retailers, and their own blogs (if applicable). Additional postings would be icing on the cake and considered a favor.
- Authors and reviewers would routinely show respect and understanding for each other's time investment, talents, and feelings.
- A reviewer could feel free to DNF a book without fear of backlash or retaliation. The proviso to this rule would include some sort of notification to the author. This would provide the author with closure to the transaction rather than being left in the dark with no review, no communication, and no explanation--only deafening silence and a bill for the free review copy. The author’s responsibility under this rule is simple: forget about that particular reviewer and move on to the next one. MY standard response to this scenario is a polite (and VERY civil) note expressing disappointment that my book didn’t resonate with them, thanking them for their time, and moving on.
If these ideals ever came to
fruition, then perhaps we would all have a reasonable chance for success in
this crazy and ever-changing publishing business.
I know I’d be much
happier!
Now that I think about it,
that 5-star review with a side order of flattery for the author--topped off
with a glowing recommendation--sounds pretty good right about now. A little plastic toy thrown in as well would be
perfect.
I’ll take mine to go, please.
P.S: Don't forget to pet your Thesaurus today.
Tweet
